#3. Blaming Eddies

DISCLAIMER: I love Eddies. True story. I've had many friends that were Eddies, or will be Eddies, or are Eddies. They're great ... I'm not just saying that because I'm going to become one. So anything presented in the following blog is my attempt at "factually" presenting what everyone thinks ... unbiased ... mostly.

If you are reading this, it is 99% likely that you will be, are, or were an Eddie. "Not me!" you say ... but you are simply trying to avoid the inevitable: EDDIES RULE THE SCHOOL.

Which is why Nip students love to blame everything on Eddies. Take the following conversations as examples:

Chris: "Dude, I couldn't find anywhere to park today. I had to park in the far corner of Lot 10!"
Amanda: "Stupid Eddies ... always driving to school."

Katie: "And then ... I was late for class because I had to walk behind this big group of Eddies ..."
Jane: "... me too! They're like a herd!"

Carrie: "So it's the third day in a row that we haven't been able to find a caf table! What the heck?"
Jordan: "Eddies. They're everywhere. Maybe we should start a new trend of eating on the crooked stairs ... it's the only place left!"

Yep. We've all blamed the Eddies at least once for the problems in our life.

One day, I was alone in the Treehouse Lounge and I fell asleep while reading on one of the couches. When I woke up, twenty Eddies having a meeting all around my couch. Literally ... they were holding their meeting OVER me. That was the weirdest wake up ever.

And let's not get started on the Macs. Here's some riddles:
Q: What do you call an Eddie with a Toshiba laptop?
A: A phony.
Q: Why can't you ever be in an exclusive relationship with an Eddie?
A: You'll always have to share them with Mac.

Eddies are responsible for slow Internet, being late for class, long line ups at Timmy's, crowded buses, the cold weather, your annoying little sister, the war in Iraq (what? I thought that was about oil and terrorism? Nope.), and pretty much every problem that the modern world has faced.

But they are also responsible for most of the money, facilities, and equipment our school has to offer. They will also go on to teach the next generation of students, maybe even your future children.

So go ahead: hug an Eddie today.