#13. When North Bay gets WARM!

It may come as a shock, but North Bay does in fact get warm SOMETIMES! If you are reading this, and you don't live in North Bay, no doubt you struggle to grasp this concept. To people from "southern Ontario", it is believed that North Bay's climate is equivalent to that of Churchill, Thunder Bay, or Moosonee. But the truth is--North Bay is not north of the Arctic circle, nor does it have permafrost, nor is it only accessible by plane or ice roads. North Bay is only 3.5 hours from Toronto, and yes, sometimes it is hotter here than in Toronto!

Of course, you already know that if you're a Nip student. And when the first signs of spring come out ... it is your natural inclination to wear shorts and flip flops--because we all know that wearing shorts and flip flops will MOST DEFINITELY sway the weatherman to predict 30 degree weather for the rest of the year. Fact: Wearing shorts will not change the weather ... but nice try.

When North Bay gets warm, it's like 4000 students emerge from hibernation like happy black bears--or white bears really. I know for a fact that right now, my legs could blind a small child, but that's the nice thing about North Bay. Almost everyone is pretty white. And there is always someone whiter than you! So flaunt your whiteness, because it proves that you survived a long North Bay winter and didn't cop out by vacationing somewhere warm during reading week! But if you are brown (because your parents love you and sent you to Cuba) then be kind to us "whities". Because we're feeling a little self-conscious, and need to get used to our skin.

The other thing about spring? Nip students become noticeably happier. Like 200% happier. Like everything is right in the world , until it randomly snows again in the middle of May (yes, you can blame me for jinxing the weather if this happens. I will wear shorts every day now so that it doesn't).

The only problem with the weather getting warm in North Bay? Exams. Exams=stuff Nip students don't like. Exam care packages, half-price Easter Candy, and studying from your back porch while barbecuing for the first time since September? Stuff Nip students DO like.

#12. Plaid

Once only reserved for grandfathers, Scots, and lumberjacks, plaid is back in style, and not surprisingly, all the rage at Nipissing. Perhaps as a tribute to our "northern status", or maybe just because of a general lack of other wardrobe options, plaid has become the new pink at Nipissing.

Important to note however, is that there is an inherent hierarchy in plaid wearers. All plaid wearers at the university fall into one of three categories:

• At the top of the list are the "genuine" plaid wearers. These people typically spend their summers camping or tree planting, and their families have a winter hunt camp over 10 hours north of civilization. Genuine plaid wearers have been wearing plaid for years, and may consider all other plaid wearers as "fake". All farmers are also considered in this category, and all farmer's children, but just living in the country or next to a farm doesn't immediately qualify you as a "genuine" plaid wearer. Also, those of Scottish background can be counted in this category, especially if they still have a Scottish accent.
• After genuine plaid wearers are wearers of genuine plaid. Although this may sound similar to genuine plaid wearers, wearers of genuine plaid aren't necessarily outdoors people or hunters, but have somehow come to inherit a "real" plaid shirt--most likely from a father or agricultural fair. Wearers of genuine plaid typically have an interesting story behind their shirt, so ask them about it to make conversation.
• Next on the hierarchical scale are all other plaid wearers. In general, these people have no legit excuse for wearing plaid except that it is in style (or they are in a band/love indie music). You will notice that when plaid fades in popularity, these people will fade too, and move on to the next big fashion trend (unless they are in a band/love indie music). People in the "all other plaid wearers" category generally purchase their plaid at American Eagle or Old Navy, and although there is nothing wrong with this, may be weirded out if you ask them about the International Plowing Match.

The important thing to know about this hierarchy is that identifying plaid wearers is easy, but identifying their category may be difficult. Typically, any plaid with neons, purples, or pinks immediately places the wearer in the "all other plaid wearers". However, identifying genuine plaid is made more difficult by the abundance of plaid available on the market. Just know that if you spark a conversation with someone about their plaid shirt, you may not always get a crazy story about getting chased by a bear in the wild or driving tractors when they were only 2 years old. You may just get a lengthy story about finding a plaid sale at Campus Crew after hours and hours of looking for the perfect shirt.

#11. Claiming to "live" in the library

If the librarians started charging rent, they could make a fortune.

It's that time of year again where most of us can confess to forgetting what our own roommates look like, since we have "adopted" new ones--namely that guy who also never leaves the "quiet room" overlooking the pond, and that girl from your English class who always provides you with distracting YouTube videos, like "60 black ghetto names" or "Throw it on the ground".

It's that time of year where our backpacks not only contains books and lunch, but also breakfast, dinner, almost-midnight snack, slippers, "evening wear", an extra toothbrush, deodorant, pillow, sleeping bag, and $50 dollars "caffeine" fund.

But as much as I hate spending all day in the library, there is a certain "coolness" that seems to come from being part of the "library crowd". For example, when someone claims to "live" in the library, one immediately conjures up images of them studying for hours surrounding by all their best friends ... the university equivalent to a slumber party. I mean, library study sessions and slumber parties both involve snacks, exhaustion, and many, many stupid inside jokes and ab-working giggle fits that only make sense when you are completely stressed and exhausted.

Claiming to "live" in the library seems to be "THE THING" to do nowadays. This must be a Nip thing, because in highschool, living in the library was the opposite of cool. It was in a different universe than cool. But word on the street nowadays is the library is the place to be.

But if you're looking for me, I won't be there. In the geography department, the GIS lab is the cool place. But don't get me started on that ...

#10. Open Mic Nights

Here's a little secret about Nipissing Students: we think we are very talented. Above average talented. So talented in fact, that we are ABOVE simply playing in our rooms and recording awkward webcam videos for all our friends to see. SO TALENTED that we are even above making our own MySpace page and recording our music there and then hoping we will randomly be found by a music agent and propelled into stardom overnight.

No, Nipissing Students are so good that we can only show our talents in one way: the open mic night. And we are so talented that one open mic night isn't enough ... we have to have at least 10. Per semester.

It is a well-cited statistic that 1 in every 5 people you meet at the school owns a guitar, and 1 out of 3 are self-proclaimed musicians. In fact, so long as you can play a Gmaj, Dmaj, Cmaj, and Em chord progression, and can creatively find ways to mix these chords up with lyrics about that one time your ex-girlfriend cheated on you for your ex-best friend and then you couldn't eat for days, but you got by with a little help from your friends ... then you are a legitimate, qualified musician and should BY ALL MEANS give yourself a creative name and sign up for every and all open mic nights!

But I warn you! All legitimate acoustic guitar open mic night musicians must be prepared to account for and explain their musical influences, as listed on their Facebook Music preferences, or MySpace page. For example, acceptable influences might include the names of indie and underground artists no one has ever heard of, as well as such slightly more popular names like Sufjan Stevens or Dave Matthews Band or Tegan and Sara. Unacceptable influences include: Kanye, Britney Spears, and anything heard in Top 40 radio.

And be careful! If you perform at one open mic night, and you perform well, prepare to be enlisted into performing at all open mic nights. Because although Nipissing is just bursting at the seams with talented musicians, we like to hear the same 10-15 people perform at every open mic night. (And I might add, they are great. Because as long as they perform, I will never have to.)

#9. Hockey

A recent (unofficial, unpublished) survey of Nipissing Students, conducted by the Students Coalition for Incredibly Biased Information (SCIBI), found that 9.82 out of 10 students ranked hockey as the number one priority in their lives, above all other choices including personal hygiene, food, significant others, family, friends, and global warming.

It is a well known fact that the way to a Nipissing Student's heart is through their NHL team allegiance. I have seen many "mixed" relationships attempt to work ... but sadly, most flounder after the first period. When it all boils down, "he" will always be a Leafs fan, and "she" will always be a Sens fan, and we all known that this makes the difference in ALL fundamental arguments.

But if you do not know somone's allegiance, you can instantly make friends with a Nipissing Student by simply bringing up "hockey" in everyday conversation. You can easily make a person feel interesting and important by asking a simple question like, "So who do you think will win the Stanley Cup this year?" or "Where were you when the Canada won gold?" Provided that you do not ask these questions out of season (eg. one week after the Stanley Cup finals), you will make a new friend in under two minutes, simply by forming that "deeper connection" that is universally ackowledged by all Canadian hockey lovers.

On another note however, it should be noted that Nipissing Students are violently defensive about their team allegiances, and unless it is the Olympics (in which case, all allegiances are abandoned for the sake of Team Canada), bringing up deep-rooted rivalries at the wrong time could result in a loss of friends, a loss of teeth, or a loss of 30 minutes of valuable time spent listening to you comrade proclaim the merits of their beloved team.

Additional note: Nipissing Students have the mindset that because we attend school in northern Ontario and do not have big shopping malls like southern Ontario, we are instantly the BIGGEST hockey fans in Canada, and no one can take this title away from us.

Additional Additional note: A sure-fire "correct" response to the question, "Where were you when Canada won gold?" includes stories about screaming until you lost your voice, hugging strangers, getting soaked in champagne, painting Go Canada Go! on your chest, driving around town with your Canadian flag, and yelling at pedestrians.

#8. No Frills Dollar Days

After Christmas, New Years, and reading week, and before St. Patty's, there is a huge open gap in the calenders of all Nipissing students. It is these weeks of tormentuous midterms, essays, cold weather, and general lack of anything to get excited for that two of the most important holidays in the school year occur: No Frills Dollar Days and Tim Horton's Roll Up the Rim.

And that is why, today, when I walked into No Frills, my heart started beating faster and my hands got sweaty and I got a nervous giggle like I was about to open a great big present. I saw, on the flyer one great big DOLLAR SIGN ... followed by a ONE ... it's No Frills Dollar Days!

When you are in a town as small as North Bay, word spreads fast. And it spreads especially fast when it involves food for one dollar (see blog "Free Food"). Apparently I was the only one of my roommates that didn't know it was Dollar Days.

So now, Nip Students, I am passing on the holiday cheer to you ... go! Scoop up your $1 Fruitopia and Sidekicks and Bagels and French Fries (ooh! and I especially loved the $1 Smarties Ice Cream)! Because you're gonna make it through the next few weeks, all thanks to No Frills!

Happy Dollar Days!

#7. Two Reading Weeks

Once upon a time, some brilliant scholar (we'll call him Planto for the sake of this story) was sitting at his desk, pondering how to stimulate his pupils to become more active during class, when he stumbled upon the brilliant idea for a "reading week". Well, he didn't really stumble upon it, per se, but likely, after hours of pondering the biggest philosophical questions in life, he looked up to the stars and saw an "r" and a "w" carved into the constellations ... and well, from there he "stumbled" upon the idea for a "reading week".

"Aha!" he likely proclaimed, with an epic arm wave and a look of self-contentment. "It's genius! I shall give my students a week to study with no distractions, and when they return, they will be eager to engage in debates, discuss their studies, and stop falling asleep during lectures!"

... Once upon a time, I too thought reading week was for studying. Biggest lie ever.

As great as Planto's idea was (and trust me, if anyone deserves to be enshrined in university history, it's Planto), reading week is everything that it isn't supposed to be. My reading week usually turns into "no way am I picking up a book, I'm on vacation" week after the first 24 hours. I usually return from reading week less excited to be in school than I was before. And no ... reading week does nothing to help keep me awake in lectures. Caffeine is still the only thing that works.

BUT--reading week still rocks. And nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more fun to brag about than having TWO reading weeks. Nipissing students ... for all the times your friends might poke fun at you for "going up north" to school, or laugh because your school is too small to have a football team or an awesome swimming pool or a humongous library, get ready ... because they're about to be blown away when you tell them you have--that's right--TWO reading weeks!

Nothing makes friends more jealous than when you "casually" mention to them they you won't be heading back to school after Thanksgiving ... you've decided to take a week off. Nothing makes friends more jealous than "casually" reminding them, during February reading week, that this is your SECOND reading week ... and that you're likely to do something even more fun this reading week, simply because you've been planning since last autumn's reading week.

If there is one thing that should stir pride in every Nipissing student's heart, it would be this: that we are so intelligent, so studious, that our professors allow us to have two weeks of vacation every academic year.

Never mind that most of us use one week for a teaching placement, or that there is likely to be a very boring and unremarkable ACTUAL reason that we have two reading weeks. None of that is quite as important as bragging about having those two weeks.

So as you depart for your SECOND reading week of the school year, fellow erudites, try to remember those other students out there who many not have quite as much as we have. Share the love ... treat everyone around you with kindness ... and if a really good opportunity comes up, "casually" mention how great it is to be a Nipissing student and have TWO reading weeks!