#12. Plaid

Once only reserved for grandfathers, Scots, and lumberjacks, plaid is back in style, and not surprisingly, all the rage at Nipissing. Perhaps as a tribute to our "northern status", or maybe just because of a general lack of other wardrobe options, plaid has become the new pink at Nipissing.

Important to note however, is that there is an inherent hierarchy in plaid wearers. All plaid wearers at the university fall into one of three categories:

• At the top of the list are the "genuine" plaid wearers. These people typically spend their summers camping or tree planting, and their families have a winter hunt camp over 10 hours north of civilization. Genuine plaid wearers have been wearing plaid for years, and may consider all other plaid wearers as "fake". All farmers are also considered in this category, and all farmer's children, but just living in the country or next to a farm doesn't immediately qualify you as a "genuine" plaid wearer. Also, those of Scottish background can be counted in this category, especially if they still have a Scottish accent.
• After genuine plaid wearers are wearers of genuine plaid. Although this may sound similar to genuine plaid wearers, wearers of genuine plaid aren't necessarily outdoors people or hunters, but have somehow come to inherit a "real" plaid shirt--most likely from a father or agricultural fair. Wearers of genuine plaid typically have an interesting story behind their shirt, so ask them about it to make conversation.
• Next on the hierarchical scale are all other plaid wearers. In general, these people have no legit excuse for wearing plaid except that it is in style (or they are in a band/love indie music). You will notice that when plaid fades in popularity, these people will fade too, and move on to the next big fashion trend (unless they are in a band/love indie music). People in the "all other plaid wearers" category generally purchase their plaid at American Eagle or Old Navy, and although there is nothing wrong with this, may be weirded out if you ask them about the International Plowing Match.

The important thing to know about this hierarchy is that identifying plaid wearers is easy, but identifying their category may be difficult. Typically, any plaid with neons, purples, or pinks immediately places the wearer in the "all other plaid wearers". However, identifying genuine plaid is made more difficult by the abundance of plaid available on the market. Just know that if you spark a conversation with someone about their plaid shirt, you may not always get a crazy story about getting chased by a bear in the wild or driving tractors when they were only 2 years old. You may just get a lengthy story about finding a plaid sale at Campus Crew after hours and hours of looking for the perfect shirt.

#11. Claiming to "live" in the library

If the librarians started charging rent, they could make a fortune.

It's that time of year again where most of us can confess to forgetting what our own roommates look like, since we have "adopted" new ones--namely that guy who also never leaves the "quiet room" overlooking the pond, and that girl from your English class who always provides you with distracting YouTube videos, like "60 black ghetto names" or "Throw it on the ground".

It's that time of year where our backpacks not only contains books and lunch, but also breakfast, dinner, almost-midnight snack, slippers, "evening wear", an extra toothbrush, deodorant, pillow, sleeping bag, and $50 dollars "caffeine" fund.

But as much as I hate spending all day in the library, there is a certain "coolness" that seems to come from being part of the "library crowd". For example, when someone claims to "live" in the library, one immediately conjures up images of them studying for hours surrounding by all their best friends ... the university equivalent to a slumber party. I mean, library study sessions and slumber parties both involve snacks, exhaustion, and many, many stupid inside jokes and ab-working giggle fits that only make sense when you are completely stressed and exhausted.

Claiming to "live" in the library seems to be "THE THING" to do nowadays. This must be a Nip thing, because in highschool, living in the library was the opposite of cool. It was in a different universe than cool. But word on the street nowadays is the library is the place to be.

But if you're looking for me, I won't be there. In the geography department, the GIS lab is the cool place. But don't get me started on that ...

#10. Open Mic Nights

Here's a little secret about Nipissing Students: we think we are very talented. Above average talented. So talented in fact, that we are ABOVE simply playing in our rooms and recording awkward webcam videos for all our friends to see. SO TALENTED that we are even above making our own MySpace page and recording our music there and then hoping we will randomly be found by a music agent and propelled into stardom overnight.

No, Nipissing Students are so good that we can only show our talents in one way: the open mic night. And we are so talented that one open mic night isn't enough ... we have to have at least 10. Per semester.

It is a well-cited statistic that 1 in every 5 people you meet at the school owns a guitar, and 1 out of 3 are self-proclaimed musicians. In fact, so long as you can play a Gmaj, Dmaj, Cmaj, and Em chord progression, and can creatively find ways to mix these chords up with lyrics about that one time your ex-girlfriend cheated on you for your ex-best friend and then you couldn't eat for days, but you got by with a little help from your friends ... then you are a legitimate, qualified musician and should BY ALL MEANS give yourself a creative name and sign up for every and all open mic nights!

But I warn you! All legitimate acoustic guitar open mic night musicians must be prepared to account for and explain their musical influences, as listed on their Facebook Music preferences, or MySpace page. For example, acceptable influences might include the names of indie and underground artists no one has ever heard of, as well as such slightly more popular names like Sufjan Stevens or Dave Matthews Band or Tegan and Sara. Unacceptable influences include: Kanye, Britney Spears, and anything heard in Top 40 radio.

And be careful! If you perform at one open mic night, and you perform well, prepare to be enlisted into performing at all open mic nights. Because although Nipissing is just bursting at the seams with talented musicians, we like to hear the same 10-15 people perform at every open mic night. (And I might add, they are great. Because as long as they perform, I will never have to.)

#9. Hockey

A recent (unofficial, unpublished) survey of Nipissing Students, conducted by the Students Coalition for Incredibly Biased Information (SCIBI), found that 9.82 out of 10 students ranked hockey as the number one priority in their lives, above all other choices including personal hygiene, food, significant others, family, friends, and global warming.

It is a well known fact that the way to a Nipissing Student's heart is through their NHL team allegiance. I have seen many "mixed" relationships attempt to work ... but sadly, most flounder after the first period. When it all boils down, "he" will always be a Leafs fan, and "she" will always be a Sens fan, and we all known that this makes the difference in ALL fundamental arguments.

But if you do not know somone's allegiance, you can instantly make friends with a Nipissing Student by simply bringing up "hockey" in everyday conversation. You can easily make a person feel interesting and important by asking a simple question like, "So who do you think will win the Stanley Cup this year?" or "Where were you when the Canada won gold?" Provided that you do not ask these questions out of season (eg. one week after the Stanley Cup finals), you will make a new friend in under two minutes, simply by forming that "deeper connection" that is universally ackowledged by all Canadian hockey lovers.

On another note however, it should be noted that Nipissing Students are violently defensive about their team allegiances, and unless it is the Olympics (in which case, all allegiances are abandoned for the sake of Team Canada), bringing up deep-rooted rivalries at the wrong time could result in a loss of friends, a loss of teeth, or a loss of 30 minutes of valuable time spent listening to you comrade proclaim the merits of their beloved team.

Additional note: Nipissing Students have the mindset that because we attend school in northern Ontario and do not have big shopping malls like southern Ontario, we are instantly the BIGGEST hockey fans in Canada, and no one can take this title away from us.

Additional Additional note: A sure-fire "correct" response to the question, "Where were you when Canada won gold?" includes stories about screaming until you lost your voice, hugging strangers, getting soaked in champagne, painting Go Canada Go! on your chest, driving around town with your Canadian flag, and yelling at pedestrians.